As Greg & I approach the 9-month mark of being not-so-casual vegans, I have been reflecting a bit on our transition into this lifestyle. I’ve noticed that the most difficult aspect of being a vegan is not the absence of animal products in our daily meals, nor understanding how our new diet affects our lives positively; these things come naturally after a short adjustment. No, the most difficult part of our daily lives as vegans turns out to be to social aspect of eating and talking about food with our friends and family. Michael Pollan said that this aspect of eating is what keeps him from becoming a vegan himself. And, we aren’t the only bloggers feeling the pressure.
vegan in a non-vegan world
In the beginning of our food journey, we were very excited about what we were reading — It made sense, and it was research that clearly wasn’t favoring a corporation or industry, it was science that was on our side. Because of this, we were very enthusiastic about telling the people that we care about about what we were reading, The China Study, Food Revolution, Anti-Cancer, the research and the basic fact: vegans and vegetarians are healthier people. Plus, it had this exciting aspect of a life without supporting injury to animals. It all sounds so lovely.
Well, it turns out that even when people ask about veganism, they grow tired of hearing about it. And when you’ve just finished talking about how milk proteins have been proven to cause and exacerbate cancer cells, it can be awkward to grab a cup of coffee with your friend who enjoys a milk latte and perhaps a cookie made with butter and milk, as you sit there with your green tea and dehydrated fruit feeling like you’re coming off a little smug, even when you aren’t judging your friend.
the quiet vegan
It can be equally as challenging to be a quiet vegan, one who doesn’t make it well-known that he or she doesn’t eat animal products and casually accepts whatever restaurant their friends propose and doesn’t make a big fuss about being invited over for dinner. People will probably still ask you about why you’re not eating the cheese. (In Chicago, vegetarianism is so weird that I’ve been asked if I was a vegetarian just because a stranger on the street saw me eating fruit.) And there will always be conversations that revolve around food, which means meat for most people. I can’t tell you how many groups I’ve been in that enjoy discussing who serves the best hamburger in town. It’s only natural that people talk about what they eat — it lends to their enjoyment of their food. Meals are very fundamentally a social activity.
the people you care about
But the very most challenging position that I always find myself in is the one in which I am confronted with the food that the people I care a great deal for are eating, especially children. Adults seem to spend a good amount of energy developing children’s food habits to include a daily intake of milk, not because they want the children to develop a taste for saturated fats and unhealthy proteins, but because they want the children to consume what they consider to be good for them: calcium, protein, and the vitamins with which the milk might be enriched. Unfortunately, we tend to eat in our adult life as we did as children, and I can’t help but daydream about children who are presented with whole grains, vegetables & fruits, and water on a daily basis, environments where the bad foods just aren’t present (because people will ultimately eat what’s available to them). But all this also goes for my parents. How hard is to hear about the meals that my parents are feeding themselves? My parents are important to me, so I want to hear about how they’re eating foods to sustain their health, et cetera. But I also want them to feel comfortable talking to me and telling me that they went out with friends for food and had a great time.
what kind of vegan will you be?
See where I’m going with this? These can be the most troubling aspects of being a conscientious vegan and deciding what kind of vegan to be. Non-vegans don’t generally like vegans who talk about being vegans. But at a certain level, you have to talk about being a vegan sometimes because it’s a big part of who you are. And at another level, you might feel it’s your responsibility to talk about being a vegan, because you care about your friends’ and family’s nutrition, or you care about the environment, or the ethical treatment of animals, and the chance for persuasion is more important than risking social awkwardness.
Being a vegan has added a complex layer to what I used to consider the most mundane information, e.g. Jill went out for ice cream. And being a vegan becomes a balancing act between the ease of my private diet and my feelings and actions in social interaction. There might be a lot of research indicating what is a healthy diet, but there’s nothing prescribing the right way to be a social vegan in a non-vegan world. So, it’s up to you — What kind of vegan do you want to be?
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Comments About The Friendly Vegan
// 2 comments so far.
Sarahfae // August 25th 2009
this is so great – i can’t tell you how spot on you are with all of this – i share the same thoughts. would you mind if i linked to this post in my lj?
kristen // August 25th 2009
Thanks, Sarahfae! And you can always link to a post here in your lovely LJ
I would be most honored.
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